🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?